may every giggle be filled to the brim with lust

today i'm leaving slo for san francisco. i'm learning slowly about my limits, about living within them, without giving up. i'm learning slowly about how i feel, and priviledging what's inside of me, not giving these feelings any origin outside of myself. i'm learning about my needs, learning how to distinguish between wants and desires, and necessities that are i require. learning to listen to myself more honestly. giving up "in order to. . ." i'm learning about drawing power only from myself, not forgetting but losing the connection to the things that have brought me here as a source of self worth, not developing identity based on tangible shit that in all actuality bears no significance on who i am as a person. i'm learning how to improve or even altogether lose my estimations of people, no more overestimating, credit based outside another's heart, no more underestimating, feeling paternal and more powerful. i'm leaving today because i want to.